This year has changed from being the year I launch my first retreat, to the year I cancel said retreat. The year that expresses there is a reason why this pandemic is here. It is wreaking havoc on people (front-line workers), families and causing the world’s economy to come to a complete stop.

I was sad at first. But then I realized that I needed this year to prepare. Heal myself. Learn more. Grow more. And come into my own. 

Since the world was hit by this pandemic, I’ve tried to surround myself with stories of love, hope and support.

I only watch funny movies. I meditate more often. I create art to get me through the days. I use art to express my emotions, inner child trauma, and limiting beliefs I’ve held in my being for so long.

Needless to say, it’s been a transforming (almost) three months closed inside my home. 

One amazing perk, I’ve grown closer to my husband. Even with our (my) own outbursts, anger spells and crying uncontrollably, he’s been by my side.

The key to marriage is communication. In fact, it has been the basis of our relationship from the very beginning. I remember when I told him the goal I had of our relationship.

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I said, “You need to tell me when you are not happy with me or something isn’t right in our relationship.”

He replied, with a smile. “Ok.”

It is still the basis of our relationship. Even more now as our (my) emotions are out of control and say to him in a loud, stern voice, “I am angry because our trip to Italy is off. We won’t have a vacation this summer. I am sad that your vacation will be here with me in this house that we’ve been in for the past 3 months together.”

It felt great to get that off my chest. Just expressing your feelings does make a difference in your body. Give it a try sometime. 

Another perk, I’ve reconnected to friends whom I thought I’d never find the connection again. One friend in particular has caught me by surprise. She and I were partners in crime in Florence back from 2008 to 2011.

We painted Florence red each and every night we went out. We lived life to the fullest. We made our own mistakes and learned from them by staying by each other sides during those dark times. We grew and shaped ourselves living in my beloved city.

She taught me how to be kind. She gave me strength when I was struggling emotionally and financially in Florence.

And then, I let her slip through my fingers for many selfish reasons.

Worst mistake of my life.

I didn’t know what I lost until she was gone.

I am grateful that she and I are now back in regular communication as of a few years back. I wrote her a long email to let her know how much I cared for her and how bad I felt when we lost touch.

Last June, I met her for lunch in our beloved Florence. It was like not a day had passed. The lunch flew by. I didn’t even finish my salad.

I just had so much I wanted to tell her. But I got the best gift from her that day: LOVE.

I felt her love. I felt her as if we didn’t have a falling out. I felt how lucky I am to have a friend like her.

She is still living her life in Florence after 10+ years with her amazing husband and two adorable, bilingual children. I am forever grateful that I wrote her that email. 

Your time on this earth is short, make sure you tell people you love them.

Share love and kindness with whoever needs it. A simple smile, with your eyes, a ‘thank you’ to the man sanitizing the carts at the store, a phone call to a friend that is struggling, listening to a friend who needs to vent. These are all examples of love. 

So much tragedy has happened in these months. Feeling bad for myself because I can’t travel, makes me feel so horrible.

All the people who died alone in a lonely hospital bed really makes my heart hurt. I think about them every day. 

The loved ones that only got to see the dying through a facetime call that the amazing healthcare workers offered to do. That is what I call courage, support and LOVE.

There are millions of people all over the world who are without food, struggling to pay their bills, in unhealthy, abusive relationships, scared to be outside because of their health. Not just because of the virus, all these fears are heightened even more. 

The one thing that I keep sending to those in need is LOVE.

Only love is real. 

As much as I wish I was hosting a retreat in Tuscany this summer, I know this pandemic happened for a reason.

Pick yours:

  • Heal the Earth
  • Slow down
  • Focus on what’s important
  • Learn something new
  • Connect with a loved one
  • Heal yourself
  • Love yourself more

The list can go on.

For me, I choose to focus on what I REALLY want to do with my life. I’ve been on the path of self-care and wellness since December 2019. This year is my year to heal, grow and share my story with people that need inspiration, love and support. Because we all need that.

I feel in all of my being, my intention is being heard by the universe. I’ve received the sign.

My heart wants to share so many gifts with the world. It is MY time. 

 

What have you decided to focus on this time at home? Are you looking for a change? Are you missing a long lost friend?

Share with me in the comments what you are feeling these days.

Love & Light,

Kate

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